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June 30, 2026

Twists and Turns: An Unconventional Traffic Stop

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I’m concerned that I might end up losing my driver’s license, all due to an encounter with a rather unreasonable police officer. This is how the interaction unfolded when I was pulled over while driving:

Officer: “Kindly provide me with your license and registration. It appears you might be under the influence.”

Me: “I want to assure you that I haven’t consumed any alcohol.”

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Officer: “Very well, let’s conduct a brief assessment. Imagine you’re driving along a dark highway at night, and you spot two lights in the distance. What would you identify them as?”

Me: “That would be the headlights of an approaching vehicle.”

Officer: “Correct! However, can you determine the make? Is it a Mercedes, Audi, or Ford?”

Me: “I’m unable to discern that.”

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Officer: “Ah, seems like a sign of impairment.”

Me: “Yet, I haven’t had anything to drink.”

Officer: “Now, for another test — picture yourself driving on a dimly lit highway at night with a solitary light approaching you. What do you reckon that is?”

Me: “That would likely be a motorcycle.”

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Officer: “Exactly! But can you specify the brand? Is it a Honda, Kawasaki, or Harley?”

Me: “I’m afraid I can’t determine that.”

Officer: “My suspicions are growing. It appears you might be intoxicated.”

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