Q: “Why did the deceased man divorce his deceased wife?” A: “Because she was frosty.”
Wife: “If you keep losing your hair this fast, I might divorce you.” Husband: “Oh my goodness! I was actually trying to save them!”
A man, heavily intoxicated, stumbled out of a bar and repeatedly fell on his face. He pondered the reason for this until his wife spoke. Wife: “Why is your face all bloody?” Husband: “I was so drunk that I couldn’t stand up, so I kept falling on my face!” Wife: “You left your wheelchair at the bar, you fool!”
Why are husbands similar to lawnmowers? They’re tough to get going, they emit unpleasant odors, and they only work half the time!
I felt incomplete until I married you. Now I’m completely finished.
