Posted September 1, 2023 by: Admin #Humor

We often hear about “the rules” from the female perspective. Now, let’s talk about the rules from the male side. These are our guidelines!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re capable. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. We don’t complain about it being down.
2. Special occasions like birthdays, Valentines, and anniversaries aren’t opportunities for us to prove our gift-giving prowess repeatedly.
3. Sometimes, we’re not thinking about you. It’s a fact of life.
4. Saturdays are for sports, much like the full moon or the tides. Let us have this.
5. Please don’t cut your hair. Long hair is usually more appealing to us. One reason guys fear marriage is that married women often change their hairstyle, and we’re left with the results.
6. Shopping isn’t a sport, and we won’t change our minds on that.
7. Crying shouldn’t be used as emotional leverage.
8. If you want something, just ask for it. Subtle hints don’t work for us; we need clarity.
9. We’re not great at remembering dates. Put them on a calendar and remind us ahead of time.
10. Most guys own just a few pairs of shoes. Don’t expect us to choose the right one from a vast collection.
11. Yes and No suffice for most questions.
12. Share your problems with us if you want help solving them; that’s what we do. For sympathy, turn to your girlfriends.
13. If you’ve had a headache for 17 months, see a doctor.
14. Check your oil in your car. Please.
15. What we said six months ago isn’t relevant in an argument. Comments expire after a week.
16. If you think you’re overweight, don’t ask us; we won’t answer.
17. If something we say has multiple interpretations and one makes you upset, we meant the other one.
18. Let us glance; it’s in our nature.
19. You can either request something or explain how you want it done, not both. If you know the best way, do it yourself.
20. If possible, share your thoughts during commercials.
21. Christopher Columbus didn’t need directions, and neither do we.
22. The early days of a relationship won’t last forever. Accept it, and stop complaining to your friends.
23. Men perceive only 16 colors, akin to default Windows settings. Peach is a fruit, not a color. Mauve? No clue.
24. If it itches, we’ll scratch it. That’s what we do.
25. We’re not mind readers, and that doesn’t mean we care any less about you.
26. If you say “nothing” when we ask what’s wrong, we’ll act like everything’s fine. We know you’re not being honest, but it’s not worth the hassle.
27. If you pose a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an unwanted response.
28. When we need to go somewhere, anything you wear is fine, really.
29. Don’t ask what we’re thinking about unless you’re ready for discussions about navel lint, offside rules, or monster trucks.
30. You own enough clothes.
31. You really have too many shoes.
32. No, seriously, you have too many shoes.
33. Taking quizzes together usually isn’t in our best interest or yours. The quiz choice doesn’t matter.
34. Beer excites us like handbags excite you.
35. I’m in shape, ROUND is a shape.

Thanks for reading this. Yes, I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.