I encouraged my wife to embrace her mistakes, and she embraced me instead.
A wife queried her husband about his infidelity. His response? “She was lying there naked on the table—what was I supposed to do?” The wife retorted, “Perform the autopsy, damn it!”
A simple method to lose an argument with a wife? Argue.

When my wife requested more space, I replied, “No problem,” and locked her out of the house.

